DAM: In honour of Yesvember via adoptchange and it being National Adoption Awareness Month, we are so excited to be able to sit down with Jeffrey and his mother Lisa for this issue.
First we interview Jeffrey Dimi, a ten year old Chinese-Filipino actor, singer and dancer who grew up in Australia after being adopted from the Philippines. Jeffrey shares some of his insights, passions and hopes for the future.
DAM: How old are you Jeffrey?
JD: I am ten years old but turning eleven next January.
DAM: What school do you go to?
JD: I go to a Performing Arts College. Currently I’m in year five.
DAM: What’s school like for you?
JD: It’s really fun, there’s a lot of dancing, singing and acting, you also have to push yourself and be switched on. Math is my other favourite subject.
DAM: Which is your favourite out of your creative subjects?
JD: I’ll probably go with acting.
DAM: Really? Even more than dancing?
JD: Dancing will always be part of me and a way of expressing myself. Acting feels more fun, you can be different characters and people, I love dressing up as different characters.
” Dancing will always be part of me and a way of expressing myself. Acting feels more fun, you can be different characters and people, I love dressing up as different characters. ”
DAM: So, what’s the most fun you’ve had in a role?
JD: Probably playing Kevin Mcalister from Home Alone in a school play – not the movie. It was just me and Billy (classmate), who was Santa and I was Kevin.
DAM: Tell me more about your dancing? I saw that you were recently in ‘The King and I’ theatre production.
JD: I do a lot of classical ballet training, but I also do contemporary and jazz. The King and I was an incredible experience. I was part of the ballet ensemble and Royal Child. I grew up watching the classic musicals so this was very special for me to be part of.
DAM: What are some of your other hobbies?
JD: I like playing table tennis with my dad every Friday or every afternoon, whenever we can. Before dad used to win but now, I win. I also like bike riding with my mum, dad and friends — oh and I love reading and drawing too. With drawing it’s very relaxing, I would sometimes go outside and look at the view, look at the buildings and sunset and I would just draw. And I like playing with my bunny.
DAM: Do you have a dream role?
JD: I’ve always wanted to be in a feature movie or a Marvel character, like in Shang Chi.
” I’ve always wanted to be in a feature movie or a Marvel character, like in Shang Chi. “
DAM: Well then what would be your secret power if you were a superhero?
JD: Definitely shape shifter because if a bad guy comes up to me, I can just transform into something. Also, I would love to read minds or have some sort of telekinesis. People could walk into a room and I could lift things with my mind and they’ll be like, ‘THERE’S A GHOST!’.
DAM: Do you have any actors that you look up to?
JD: Tom Hanks, I love his movies. Ever since I was a baby, I used to watch Toy Story. Also, Robert Downey Jr., he’s very cool. Recently, the actor who was the lead in the Shang Chi movie, I did martial arts when I was four, so I really look up to him — also because he’s really nice.
DAM: Is there anything else you’d like to be when you grow up?
JD: Apart from a Triple Threat, I would like to be a designer. I drew something before which really inspired me to make a printout t-shirt of it – or two.
DAM: Do you ever feel different?
JD: No actually, because it’s good to be different. If we were all the same we would be boring. I don’t feel different, I just feel like my own person and I never feel excluded but included for it.
” No actually, because it’s good to be different. If we were all the same we would be boring. I don’t feel different, I just feel like my own person and I never feel excluded but included for it. “
DAM: After Jeffrey’s interview we also spoke to his adoptive mother, Lisa, an Australian born Greek who always yearned to have children. Lisa shares her adoption story and tells us what life is like as a proud mother of an adopted son.
DAM: What made you want to adopt Lisa?
LD: I was told that I couldn’t have children and I was devastated. After many failed attempts with IVF, my husband and I decided that we still wanted to be parents and we were always inclined to adopt. I’ve always wanted to give a child a good life.
DAM: Do you remember the exact moment you decided?
LD: It always plays on my mind; I think after you’ve had a few failed attempts with IVF, it can be pretty tough on your mind and your body, but I believe everything is for a reason, that was my calling. I was very fortunate to have a beautiful soulmate, which was my mum, who was extremely supportive and a real humanitarian. She always said to me, ‘never despair if you can’t have your own biological children, I’d like you to adopt from overseas. Too many children in orphanages need good parents like you and Zac’. She was gravely ill with Parkinson’s disease and I just wanted to fulfill her dreams of adopting a child. It was a tough process but we made it and we haven’t looked back.
DAM: So, what was the first step?
LD: I didn’t know anyone who had adopted, so I did my research of adoption on different sites. I really went there with a blank mind which I think was good because I didn’t want it to tarnish my decision in any way, it had to be purely my own. The decision was always to adopt internationally because one; I knew it was very hard in Australia, the model is very different here as you have to foster a child first. I just didn’t want to confuse a poor child going from family to family. I wanted to adopt a child who is in an orphanage and get them out ASAP, I’d do it for every child if I could.
” I wanted to adopt a child who is in an orphanage and get them out ASAP, I’d do it for every child if I could. “
DAM: What made you finally decide on the Philippines?
LD: Each country has a different criteria, for example, we looked at China and it was a minimum ten years wait! We also looked at Colombia, which we loved because my husband and I had travelled through South America. However the criteria at the time was that we needed to live there for three years and speak fluent Spanish. At that time, we had started to build a network and there were other couples considering the Philippines, everyone was talking about how nurturing and caring the orphanage people are there towards the kids, so we put down our application. It took us 6 years by the time we put our application in, to being allocated a child.
DAM: What was Jeffrey like when you met him?
Jeffrey was sixteen months when he was allocated to us. He spent his first months in an orphanage, which when you think about it, is the most precious bonding time between a child and its mother. When we went to pick him up, he was sharing a cot with another baby! It was pretty full on. He had a huge smile on his face, but he was a bit reserved and attached to his carer. It took a few hours, but eventually he warmed up to us, especially because we bought him some toys from Australia, which he still has.
DAM: Do you try to immerse him with his Chinese and Filipino culture?
We try really hard to embrace his culture and his heritage. I think it’s a blessing that he has Chinese and Filipino culture. He’s so proud of his Chinese culture. We celebrate Chinese New Year; we go to Chinatown and see the dragon dancers, along with the rest of the adopted Chinese and Filipino group in Sydney.
DAM: Oh wow – there’s a group?
Oh god yes! There are other Filipino and Chinese children and adoptees and we’re a very strong knit. Jeff loves hanging out with the group. He’s just got this thing, where every Asian kid he meets he considers them like his brother and sister. He’s been like this since he was five years old. I remember when he first started school and after he’d introduced me to his friends and they were all of Asian background.
I asked him why he chose these friends and he said, ‘Because they look like me’. ‘Is that important to you?’ I asked and he said ‘Very important’ — this is coming from a five-year-old. Jeffreys always had a special ability to gather the people around him and make them feel included.
DAM: What’s a normal reaction that you get from others?
It’s always very warm and receptive, people always say, ‘Oh what a lucky boy’. Every adoptee parent that you speak to will give you the same answer, we always joke about it. How I see it though is that we are the lucky ones — they don’t see it the way we see.
“People always say, ‘Oh what a lucky boy’. Every adoptee parent that you speak to will give you the same answer, we always joke about it. How I see it though is that we are the lucky ones…”
There were times when some people, especially from Asian backgrounds, saw him and felt sad. They think that he wouldn’t have had this life if he was back in his country, so it’s a bit of a mixed bag.
DAM: What do you think your life would have been like without him?
I’d definitely be lost; it would be a lonely place. Jeffrey has just enriched our lives in so many ways that there’s not enough words to describe. He’s still young right now, so he doesn’t understand the impact he’s made on us and our family. Every person he meets, there’s just an instant connection with him and I’m not saying that because he’s our son! He’s just an incredible boy and we’re super proud of him.
DAM: What advice would you give to anyone considering adoption?
Your whole life needs to be committed and dedicated to this whole other person. You’ve committed your whole life to giving someone else a life, that’s how you’ve got to look at it.
” Your whole life needs to be committed and dedicated to this whole other person. You’ve committed your whole life to giving someone else a life, that’s how you’ve got to look at it. “
Don’t do it for status, or selfish reasons – never do it for that, do it genuinely. It has to be a full commitment all the way, even through tough times (because there definitely will be tough times). There will come a time when they’re older and they will ask the really tough questions and want to know answers about who their parents are and you have to be very open and supportive about it.
DAM: Do you have any aspirations relating to adoption?
I’d love to run an orphanage one day with Jeff, that’ll be a dream. He has always been saying since he could talk, ‘I just want to look after my adopted brothers and sisters’.
” I’d love to run an orphanage one day with Jeff, that’ll be a dream. He has always been saying since he could talk, ‘I just want to look after my adopted brothers and sisters’. “
I think he will inspire many kids as he grows up, either those adopted like himself or those that come from diverse family structures.
DAM: Wow, that’s really beautiful. Lisa, thank you for sharing this part of your story. It has been amazing talking to you and Jeffrey and we wish you all the best ~
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You can stay up to date on Jeffrey’s projects here:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeffrey_dimi/
More on Adopt Change AU:
Website: https://www.adoptchange.org.au/
Diversity Australia Magazine 